Pseudo-Haiku
A collection of poetry by Thorin N. Tatge
NATURE
FREAK
WHIMSY
MODERNITY
AUTHOR’S NOTE:
Recently, as all creative people do for thirty-eight hours at one time or
another, I got into haiku. Since I had
nothing else written, I decided to share them with you. Properly speaking, some of the following are
not haiku, but something similar and probably much cooler. Real haiku tend not to use pronouns and stay
fairly simple. In English, some haiku
are written in 5-7-5 form, and some are shorter so as to be more
authentic. There are some of each in
this, my fortieth Chelsea script. (Woo!)
The characters enter and
stand in different places. NATURE stands
near the audience, FREAKY stands on the upper stage, WHIMSY stands off to one
side and MODERNITY stands near an exit.
NATURE
soft boughs
leaves adhere to face
windbreaker
I am of two minds
Bind me fast so that one
will
Outwit the other
WHIMSY
Ten thousand puzzles
in a sprawl of children’s
blocks
and a rubber ball
MODERNITY
motion and colors
unique to a compact space
miniature golf
NATURE
Tunnel through the earth
orchids rustle as we pass
one petal falls.
FREAKY
turtles
are good at hiding, so
are fun to torture
WHIMSY
Nature filled with drugs
Pills, pollen, wispy air
flummox you.
MODERNITY
one dozen doughnuts
More than anyone would want
and therefore perfect
NATURE
vegetables
are when our hearts dare to
grow
outside of us
FREAKY
greedy raccoon
never stops to bargain
just takes my food
WHIMSY
birds smile
an upturned head
and a quiver
breakfast cereal
nuts and raisins are
treasures
for the day ahead
NATURE
found unwanted thing
journeys far in this pink
bag
purpose held in string
FREAKY
fucking computer
please won’t you compile
this code?
do it for me, bitch
WHIMSY
Dolphins’ thoughts spread
wide
Their virtues define the
sea
Their faults are laughed at
MODERNITY
knight to bishop three
so begins a tree so large
we will name its leaves
NATURE
flat long lake
trudge between dull shores
or just lie there
FREAKY
yawning leaf
two cold moons bristle
what the hell?
WHIMSY
Hold up your front legs.
Will our descendants lose
them
Or will they grow hands?
MODERNITY
patient online chat
twenty minutes of silence
punctuates the end
NATURE
The smell of rosewood
settles in your sinuses
for a long life’s nap
FREAKY
Bear and raven meet
Both need meat and company
Whom will they eat first?
WHIMSY
God is not watching—
we can fly without
feathers!
young pterodactyl
Other people’s dreams
In your hands without
warning
Do your Chelsea best