THE BEST FURRY STORY EV$ER

THE CLOUDS over the bright blue area cleared and the hawk was presented on the winds. The world waitinh below was waiting for him, waiting with baited breadth for him to come down and swoop down over them. Until he did, they were waiting. A putrescent nasality tinged the air, as if every fur-laden being in the stadium had sneezed as one, and the excreted follicles danced through the air like a fuzzy dingbat without a home. It was intoxficatingly stifling. The hawk, undulating down over the waiting heads of the crowd who stood waiting, calle out, “I require a volenteer!”

“What kind of volenteer?” argueed the rodent, a man withno scruples whatever except for his foot-long tail.

“One to help me and hold me,” anwsered theha3wk. With no ado whatsoever, the man-rodent traisped (in a way it was walking ) to the stage and piucked the hawk up in his pawhands. He plucked the arduous bird clean of all feather, and then set it down in the pool of rancid aicd. There waas no hope. The bird lost it s breaing,s, its flight powers, and its ife in one swoop. This was not the kind of vouleenteer for which it had so duly and yet unduly sought.

“Help us?”! cried the swan people. They were still awkae after seveteen hours of travel. “We have lost our leader, and you are his murderess!”

“I do not know what you mean,”s aid the rat.

“It is written on your foreheadpaw. You have left our quailty and breached the contract that was inged years ago by the writer of your own epic tale, Garglemesh, the rodentlike. I have a petition prooving it.”

YOU CAN PROVE NOTHING!” cried the rat. Leaping upomn a bat, he soared out of the stadium and into a new areq wheere he could npot be found. If this was any indication of tidings to come, it was a tiding.

*** Three years later

Sometimes, it was necessary to rtain a pidegon to tyravle the Oriental route without any priot training. This was the case with Ms. pErcival Pidgeon is Pulmenny, whose favorite route was the oridental route. She carried mail frequently, and babies as well to needy people. She had just been informed by radio that shewas needed, because the rat king had been found in Cezhcoslokavia. His legend livde on, but his legend lived on.

“are you there?” she called into her radio,” over and out.”

“Yes, I’m here, Pervicel,” the blast said. “You are to eminently capture this King with nothing more than the sound of my own voice. Also, there is a girfafe who lives in Lousiana I want you to find. She is an espeonage expert and will sneakw through the direction.”

“All right, grumbled the avian.” She was hated giraffes.

Seven days later, the griaffe Jennifer and the Pervical entered the realms of Czecholsavika. They had no plan dna nopriavcy. “I do not love you and never will,” squakwed the bird.

“Fair enough” had the giraffe. “I only gehlw you are the peroson I was supposed to.”

“Lets move.”

“Adios.”

The rat King was hiding in a ccaller filled with toxic waste. He liked to eat forsk and this stuff was the perfect eliixir. “HenchMAN” he called or should I say “HENCHBEAST!”

“Yues, my lord.”?answered th4e bug.

“You are my last and greates and only hope. Destory the pideosgen and her giraffe counterpair!

“I will do my best,” the bug mandibled.

“Then the police dropepd abomb throuhg the windshield. The pidgeon fell, but was saved by the volunterr at the last minute. “It hought you were a ghsot,” she agruged.

“That is true “ said the dead ghost, fading into. It was no longer able to save the giraffe, whose costume disgused her as a winged bat.

“That is not possible” shouted the rodent, looking into his crystel balls. You are not to get so for so soon. I shgall have to unravel you personally/” And so his teeth were shrpened.

“The final confronattion hapene3ede sveerral wweks later iside a large andomded warehouse. No one was present. It was a dark battle between the peidgon whose feathers and the swan, who had become the second ghost in the meantime. The rat was gnawing on the swan’ neck like a hoagie when the police burst in.”

“We got word from a giraffe,” said the head poclice man, who, while a man, was in fafact the giraffe already mentioned, jennifer, in disguse.”

“Thank the Lord,” smiled the peodioen, whose body was nearly gone. “We were getting very tird.”

No problem, said the giraffe, taking off her maesk. Her form stood tusnningly beforet he people, util someone swwooned.

NOOOOO! Screamed the rat king. “She I not THAT sexy! She is only a giraffe, while I am a haitr rat who is more eexy than she is less sexy than I am.”

“Take the hint, ratty” shoved Percival. “Lete me into your seoul and I wil tell you just how dexy youa re.”

“Alll…alll right,” said the rat.

“Then lie down and I will put on my glave.”

“All right…I …will”…said the…rat.

“And then the fun gbegins!” the police giraffe says.

Suddenly, the pidgeon ripped brusquely. A hnadful of members were flung to thepolice who were and set about them like rabid dogs. The rat grimaced in controtion.

“You desevrved every bit of that” said the pidgeon flexing her toes.

“I do not know whay I am considered the villain, when we are so ver yalike, you and you.”

Also, the bug had died earlier.

“Ythat may be, but save it for the jury,’ the jury decided. And when it happened just like that three waeeks later, they all said “GUILTY!” Includes the winking giraffeas the foremen, who was in fact the most exy of them all.

 THE END, (or its it? Percival may still have a stthing or two to say about that!” And the swans remains deputised by the police to this very day. The End. [Until the sequel????!?]