Milan's Costume

Milan Autumncraft, a griffin, was born on Halloween. Her broad wings allowed for costumes supporting everything from gossamer to foliage to dragon scales. Being bipartite allowed for hybridized outfits, like a beast of toffee and peanut butter.

One year, shrouded as a banshee, she met a human child dressed as a griffin. “Hey,” she said. “I'm a real one of you.”

“Oh my gosh,” marveled the girl. “Don't eat me!”

“You're in luck,” said Milan. “Normally I'd probably eat you, but tonight I just warn people about death to come.” Rearing up, she discharged a piercing, avian wail:

O-o-O-o-O

My Vampire Bat Ex

When I was dating a vampire bat, I would drink cabernet sauvignon while he drank me. I learned about venipuncture syringes and butterfly needles. If working stress led to poor eating habits, he'd chide me for the bonbons and cookies he detected in my blood sugar. When I took up step aerobics, he found the extra circulation delectable. Our relationship had a positive effect on my health!

Disappointingly, though, he wasn't a great co-host for the Halloween season; he would spend most of the party nights lurking shyly atop cabinets and bookcases, making sparse conversation and only rarely swooping down to rouse our guests into shrieks of shock.