We are very small

And the Earth is green and blue.

From a distance

Our sun's a tiny ball

And the stars are tiny too.

From a distance

Stuff spewed out everywhere

From an ancient cosmic bomb.

But the largest sight

In the midnight sky

Is the body of your mom.

From a distance

Your mom's ugly butt

Has at least twelve satellites.

From a distance

Her enormous gut

Reaches relativistic heights.

From a distance

She gobbles galaxies

As we gaze in amazement beneath.

And the cosmic rays

That pervade the sky

Are 'cause she don't brush her teeth.

Your mom is so damn fat!

Your mom is so damn fat!

Your mom is so damn fat!

Even from a distance!

From a distance

Your mom eats neutron stars

From an appetizer tray

From a distance

We look like candy bars

Labeled Mars and Milky Way.

From a distance

The shape of gravity

Is determined by her flabby thighs

And the fact that space

Even curves at all

Owes to her eating so many pies.

She's the Queen of Quasars

She's a big black hole

From her own universe of curly fries!

She is mocking us

She is mocking us

Now she's mooning us

From a distance!

Your mom is so damn fat

Your mom is so damn fat

And she's ugly too

Even from a distance!

(Just imagine what she's like up close.)